A year ago I would have been satisfied to graduate college, get a decent job, and just blend in with the rest of the population. Yeah, I’ve got some talents, but I’ve never had high hopes for myself... and I was okay with that. Mediocrity is what I longed for the most. As the Queens of the Stone Age say, I wanted to “go with the flow,” with a side of Christianity.

And then, one day, that all changed. I no longer desired that mediocrity, that need to merely blend in amongst everyone. I was meant for more. I didn’t simply want to exist anymore. I wanted to thrive, not thrive in the sense where I would become famous and/or rich (I can honestly say that I don’t have a desire for either), but the kind of thriving that makes your brief life on this earth mean something. I wanted to make a difference. I realized that I was living my moment, my life for myself. Every day, I became increasingly more aware that God wanted me to live my life for Him and to love others with the love and passion that He does. He started to change my heart; I felt like it started beating again. God brought back those pieces of me that I dropped and deserted from long ago. I felt whole again. My life and my purpose of living life for myself started to fade. I started to wake up, and the world seemed like it had color again.

I felt God pulling me in directions that were unfamiliar to me, things that I would never do on my own because I feared rejection. However, I wasn’t going to allow fear to paralyze me anymore.

So here’s how the story goes...

Almost a year ago, my brother and I took a vacation to Hawaii. We went to the Big Island, where we biked around a volcano, went snorkeling with manta rays, and drove to the green sand beach (which I dreamt about 3 nights in a row before we finally went). I fell in love with Hawaii.

Ever since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Hawaii. I can honestly say that I feel like God is leading me there. But I thought, “What if the only reason I want to go back so badly isn’t because God is actually calling me there? What if I just had a great vacation and Hawaii is just an awesome place?”

So I started praying…and praying…and praying…

Then it dawned on me, I need a Praise and Worship internship to complete my degree. So I did something that I never would have done last year. I sent an email to about 54 different churches in Hawaii seeing if they needed an intern for praise and worship for the summer. I started this in December of last year. I figured that if I could get an internship for a few months in Hawaii that I could experience the culture (as opposed to a vacation experience).

I finally stepped out of my comfort zone! I took a risk! In my mind, it was okay if I didn’t get an internship in Hawaii. The main thing is that I actually did something about it.

Then just a couple of months ago, one of the churches, that I had been in contact with, invited me to serve at their church as the summer intern! I cried and praised God. Then I called my closest family and friends who I knew were praying for me and told them the exciting news.

So here’s the point to this blog: Please pray for me! I need your help. I still feel God is calling me to Hawaii, and I am going to keep desperately seeking His will for my life. During this time that I am away, I’m praying that God will show me if this is someplace He is calling me or someplace that Ryan wants to go.

Please pray for me.

...and keep reading!