So, it’s been like a million years since I have posted my last blog, especially since I wanted to post one every week! I’ve been super busy and loving it. Some of the ministries I’m involved in is feeding the homeless (B&B), helping out with the youth, tutoring women to help them get their GED, and having a Bible study with a group at the homeless shelter. Then I’ve got my praise and worship internship responsibilities. In a couple of days, a group of us are leaving for Kauai for a missions trip. We are going to be teaching a group of about 100 children a musical in a week. Then shortly after I get back I’m going to be a counselor for a week of camp. And somewhere in there is a week of VBS. I’m loving the business though!

One of the biggest reasons that I wanted this internship is because I wanted to be picked out of my comfort zone and placed somewhere entirely new so I could have new opportunities to grow closer to Him. I think sometimes we get stuck in our daily routines and are so comfortable with our lives that we just settle and get in a funk. I know I do. I’ve wanted this internship to be a time of spiritual growth and stretching and God certainly is stretching me.

One thing that I’ve been struggling with is my attitude. I’ve been on my own for almost ten years now and I’m used to doing things my way, coming and going as I please, and having as much alone time as I need. I’m a person who wants and needs solitude. It’s a bit different here. Because I’m involved in so many ministries, I’m always around people and because if this my attitude gets a bit crappy at times. I started praying that God would give me patience and direction.

Then I was finishing up "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan and God really brought to my attention the last chapter of the book where Chan is challenging us to treat people as if they are Christ. He talks about the scripture... "Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to Me." That struck me. Despite what is going on in my life, I always need to treat people as if it were Christ Himself.

Then a couple of days later my super cool advisor (that’s for you, Amanda!) sends out an email that challenges us (those who have an internship this summer) to remember that we are serving God. She bluntly asks us how is our attitude and reminds us that we need to check our hearts and priorities. She goes on to tell us that ministry is not an easy thing but in the midst of it we need to recognize that we are serving Christ... even if we are scrubbing the toilets (her words, not mine)!

THEN it gets even cooler! When we were having our Bible study at the homeless shelter (called "Talk Story"), the lady who leads it read from Pilippians about how we are doing what we do for Christ and not for the recognition of man or for ourselves! Crazy! Three times in less than a week. It's pretty sweet and very encouraging that God cares so much for us and hears our prayers that He'll send us a message from so many (completely) different sides. One's a famous author, one's in Hawaii, and one's in NC. Pretty good stuff!

So, I don’t chat your ears off, let me wrap this up. If you could, please pray for all of these ministries, especially the missions trip to Kauai. Over half of the 100 children are kids who don’t go to church at all. It’s a pretty cool deal.

Also, I’m going to try to make this a weekly deal not a once-every-month thing. So keep checking!

About 6 months ago I began to pray that God would help me love people as He loved them. Shortly after I began praying this prayer, I started to become extremely convicted of how I was spending my time and money. It was all for and about myself. I helped others, but only when the circumstances conveniently crossed my path. Everyday the burden pressed on my heart like heavy weights that I needed to serve others selflessly. So, I started looking for ways that I could help others. Not only others but the lost. Somehow, God led me to working with the homeless. The more I worked with them the more I began to love and care for them.

What’s so amazing about this internship, besides that it’s in Hawaii, is that Waianae Baptist Church actively searches for ways to serve others and spread God’s love, especially to the homeless. God placed me in exactly the right spot.

So, I’ve been here for only a short time and it’s already been so busy... but incredibly amazing. I knew from the beginning that God orchestrated every thing so beautifully before I left, but I had no clue how much until I got here. And I have a feeling that I will recognize so much more as time unfolds.

One of the coolest ministries at the church is their “Breakfast and Food Basket” ministry, which is typically called B&B. This is an enormous outreach to the homeless community where they feed them breakfast, make them food baskets, and preach God’s word to them.

This is how it runs... When they first come they print their name and how many adults and children they have in their family. Then, after they sign in, they eat breakfast. After breakfast, they go to the sanctuary to listen to a devotional. While they are listening to the devotional, people from the church make food baskets which consist of a myriad of food items. Then after the devotional they take their baskets home.

It’s by no chance that God gave me such a huge heart for the homeless and I ended up at a church that helps and loves the homeless so much. There’s something freeing about serving others, not out of selfish ambition but God’s pure love. My relationship has never been this close to God until I started serving and loving others. God is answering my prayer and everyday I’m so amazed at what He is doing in the lives of others.

Robert Murray M’Cheyne said:

I am concerned for the poor but more for you. I know not what Christ will say to you in the great day.... I fear there are many hearing me who may know well that they are not Christians because they do not love to give. To give largely and liberally, not grudgingly at all, requires a new heart; an old heart would rather part with its life-blood than its money. Oh my friends! Enjoy your money; make the most of it; give none away; enjoy quickly for I can tell you, you will be beggars throughout eternity.

Please pray for a lady that is desperately looking for a job and a place to stay. She lives at a place called the Civic Center, which is like a transition place for the homeless to stay for a couple of years and then they need to move out and find a place to stay. She’s usually such a bright joyful person but she’s having such a hard time right now because she has to be out by the end of the month. Mahalo.

A year ago I would have been satisfied to graduate college, get a decent job, and just blend in with the rest of the population. Yeah, I’ve got some talents, but I’ve never had high hopes for myself... and I was okay with that. Mediocrity is what I longed for the most. As the Queens of the Stone Age say, I wanted to “go with the flow,” with a side of Christianity.

And then, one day, that all changed. I no longer desired that mediocrity, that need to merely blend in amongst everyone. I was meant for more. I didn’t simply want to exist anymore. I wanted to thrive, not thrive in the sense where I would become famous and/or rich (I can honestly say that I don’t have a desire for either), but the kind of thriving that makes your brief life on this earth mean something. I wanted to make a difference. I realized that I was living my moment, my life for myself. Every day, I became increasingly more aware that God wanted me to live my life for Him and to love others with the love and passion that He does. He started to change my heart; I felt like it started beating again. God brought back those pieces of me that I dropped and deserted from long ago. I felt whole again. My life and my purpose of living life for myself started to fade. I started to wake up, and the world seemed like it had color again.

I felt God pulling me in directions that were unfamiliar to me, things that I would never do on my own because I feared rejection. However, I wasn’t going to allow fear to paralyze me anymore.

So here’s how the story goes...

Almost a year ago, my brother and I took a vacation to Hawaii. We went to the Big Island, where we biked around a volcano, went snorkeling with manta rays, and drove to the green sand beach (which I dreamt about 3 nights in a row before we finally went). I fell in love with Hawaii.

Ever since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Hawaii. I can honestly say that I feel like God is leading me there. But I thought, “What if the only reason I want to go back so badly isn’t because God is actually calling me there? What if I just had a great vacation and Hawaii is just an awesome place?”

So I started praying…and praying…and praying…

Then it dawned on me, I need a Praise and Worship internship to complete my degree. So I did something that I never would have done last year. I sent an email to about 54 different churches in Hawaii seeing if they needed an intern for praise and worship for the summer. I started this in December of last year. I figured that if I could get an internship for a few months in Hawaii that I could experience the culture (as opposed to a vacation experience).

I finally stepped out of my comfort zone! I took a risk! In my mind, it was okay if I didn’t get an internship in Hawaii. The main thing is that I actually did something about it.

Then just a couple of months ago, one of the churches, that I had been in contact with, invited me to serve at their church as the summer intern! I cried and praised God. Then I called my closest family and friends who I knew were praying for me and told them the exciting news.

So here’s the point to this blog: Please pray for me! I need your help. I still feel God is calling me to Hawaii, and I am going to keep desperately seeking His will for my life. During this time that I am away, I’m praying that God will show me if this is someplace He is calling me or someplace that Ryan wants to go.

Please pray for me.

...and keep reading!